11 Objective Video Game Reviews Any "Gamergater" Would Be Proud Of

Hey members of hashtag-Gamergate!  I heard you guys are fighting for ethics in video game journalism and favor more objective reviews of games!  Okay!  Here you go!...


Resident Evil 5:
This is game number five from the Resident Evil series.  The main character shoots people.
10/10

Bioshock: Infinite:
This is game number three from the Bioshock series.  The main character shoots people.  Also, you have a female sidekick who helps you out, or something.  Philosophical lessons are presented.
9/10 (for attempted education)

Little Big Planet:
This game has bright colors!
10/10

Tomb Raider:
Lara Croft origin story.  She's more like a realistic woman now.
7/10 (no short-shorts)

Grand Theft Auto IV:
Your character commits various acts of violence.  There are little to no consequences.
10/10

Assassin's Creed:
This is a game.
10/10

DmC: Devil May Cry:
This is also a game.
10/10

Depression Quest:
We aren't sure if this was a game.  There were no guns, and we believe some kind of lesson was presented.
1/10

The Last of Us:
This is a survival game.  The main character shoots people.  also, you have a female sidekick who helps you out, or something.  Philosophical lessons are presented.
9/10 (for attempted education)

"Wait John.  Did you just copy and paste that review of The Last of Us from your review of Bioshock: Infinite?"

"Don't question me, George.  I'm an OBJECTIVE JOURNALIST, DAMMIT!"

Just Dance:
Just dance.
2/10 (because, exercise)

Destiny:
It's cool.
10/10

"Hey John, that last review of yours wasn't very 'objective'."

"REALLY GEORGE, JUST SHUT UP!"



How can you have "objective" reviews?  Isn't every review an authors opinion on something  Thus.."subjective"?  Hellooooo?!

Hashtag Gamergate has no sense.